Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Day 335

Mom – Day 335

I was ready to go to bed; I was so tired when all of a sudden we got a call from Zach. He asked us to call him right back so that we could talk to him before he was to take off. It was so nice to hear from him!!!! Last night I slept and Galen slept, in fact we over slept and we were rushing in the morning.

Today in school during lunch I opened up my emails and there were two of them that made me cry on the spot (the worst part of this was that I was wearing purple mascara, not waterproof – imagine the sight, purple eyes). One email quoted excerpts from my blog and it was hard to read. It was surreal. Those words came from me, my thoughts! The other email was from a friend that “spoke” to me. She is concerned about me. Believe me, when I read my blog I am also concerned – I don’t often go back and read it. My mind knows that I have to “live” but my heart and soul doesn’t know it yet. I am NOT ready to deal with my mind. Honestly, I may not be ready because maybe in some ways I don’t want to be ready yet – or maybe I am in survivor mode – I don’t know. I just know that I am scared every single day.

I thought I would go to the website of the 173rd today, maybe I would read news, but instead I noticed the tab for the fallen soldiers. I clicked on it and looked at their pictures and looked into their eyes. I was wondering what they were thinking when the picture was taken and then I thought of the words “fallen soldiers”. I also felt that their families must have some, be it small, comfort in knowing that there are people, people they may not know, looking at the picture or the bio of their son, brother, husband, grandfather, or friend. They are remembered.

I love you Zach – Be Safe
Love Mama

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