Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wow I watched the start of the Bruin's game and all I could think about was the time Zach and I went with Mike and Chris Gross to the Bruin's game. What a blast it was so much fun. I can't wait to experience those times again. As hard as I try my mind is always somewhere else. Lisa needs me, Victoria needs me and all of our extended family needs me to be strong and I love you all you are so important to me - time to cowboy up! It just seems like nothing is going right lately. Everything that goes wrong seems to be amplified. Days just seem to run on, and perhaps my hardest effort is to be cheery and festive for the Christmas season. I cannot lie I do not feel cheery or festive, and sometimes do not feel very social. It is getting harder to hide that fact. I have been so busy at work and we are operating 2 and sometimes three people down. I feel like I am so far behind not matter what I do to catch up. At every turn I feel like those who are supposed to be helping are becoming the biggest obstacles. I actually feel like for the first time I am one of those people who are always in a world of hurt and the blame is on everyone else. That pretty much sums up my past few weeks. I am hoping that things will get better as my frustration is starting to max out. Somehow I have to accentuate the positive, I've got to work out my aggressions and feelings in the gym or walking. I know that Zach is out who knows where now conducting unknown missions and operations. He is superman and I have to be like superman as hard as it is! I miss you Zach and I love you with all my heart.