Day 362

Mom – Day 362

Today I am still at work, “Parent teacher conferences” so I decided to start writing while I have my dinner break.
This morning was nice because I met a former student that brought me back to my memories when my kids were still in school and I was worrying about if I had the time to chauffeur them everywhere. My problems then seemed so stressful and I was always running around. My kids are so different that they didn’t have any common activities. I was always running and I painfully have to admit that there were times I would forget them. (Sorry Zach for leaving you at the ski slope ☹ and sorry Ash for making you wait for me over and over) Now all of this seems so trivial. I was never ready to be an empty nester and I can’t stand to have a house that is not in a dynamic state. I soon realized that I must love chaos even if it comes with stress, as long as I can have a family, my family. I figured out quickly that I needed to extend my family so I opened my house to other family members and to wonderful “International Exchange students” .
Then this evening, I met so many community members that were coming to meet their children’s teachers. Many of them that knew my son or me asked how he was doing. Some people gave me hugs and some just reiterated how commendable it is for Zach to be serving his country. It was nice to feel the support that is out there.
I got home late and went upstairs to kick off my shoes and change when once again I couldn’t help but cry. I cried because I am scared, I cried for the soldiers’ families that just lost their child today and I cried just because. Sometimes I am amazed that tears can still flow out of me, I don’t know where they even come from – don’t our tear ducts just stop? Gosh, I am starting to depress myself reading what I am writing; I hope you don’t think I should be advertising for a Prozac commercial.
I thank God for a wonderful family and a great community that I live in. I also thank God for Galen, a great father and my soul mate.

I love you Zach, be safe. I also love Ash and all of my other “kids”
xoxoxxoxoxoxo