Friday, November 20, 2009

Day 361

Mom – Day 361
I am so antsy today. My head seems full of cobwebs; I couldn’t seem to remember how to say common words in Spanish today. My students were very understanding and by the next class I seemed better. Then I did get a call from my husband that said Zach called him and spoke to him for about 10 minutes. Wow, that was so nice to hear. Zach asked his Dad to send him a few things. He is near Kábul now and he would soon leave for FOB Shank. FOB stands for Forward Operation Base and is located (I believe) south of Kábul, near the town of Pul-i-Alam in the Loghar province (just north of the Wardak province). At the end of the day, I figure I really don’t know where he is but it feels good to think I do. Just like I don’t know why he is there but I have to have faith. I did read an article (I didn’t have the energy to verify the reliability of this site) but I found it interesting.
I do encourage everyone to watch the movie, “The Way We Get By”, here is some more information on it
This movie makes you feel good and proud to be an American with good old fashion American values.

Okay, I have to let out my sad part, after all that is part of the reason as to why I started this blog. How many times did I cry today, I ask myself, and I respond, I haven’t stopped. I have cried so much today, on and off that I can’t count. I think I have trained my emotions to spill over when I have any moment alone – in the bathroom, in between classes,….) and then stop when I have to be composed, ready for what I have to do. It seems like everything triggers that sad piece of me.

I pray that I will always be strong for Zach and that he knows that I am super proud of him. He has a good head on his shoulders and a great heart. I also pray that with all this weight sitting on my heart, that my daughter and my husband don’t feel neglected (other than the usual). Now holding true to my nature – I don’t want them to get these big heads thinking I am turning into a softy – remember I am not all that touchy, feely!

I love you Zach – Be Safe
Love your Mama

PS I love you too Ash, Mina (our middle child), Ju Ju, Eline (our baby girl – can’t take Baby of the family status away from Zach because he will get jealous), Temoc …..oops and now there is Marjo.

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