Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day 238

Mom – Day 238

So Zach is now in Kuwait, waiting for a flight to Afghanistan. I thought it would take him a good week to get back into country but I was wrong. How do I feel – yesterday I couldn’t write because my heart felt like it was torn to pieces. My feelings were exacerbated because I also didn’t feel good (some flu like thing). After dropping Zach off yesterday I couldn’t drive home, I felt so horrible. As if God plans everything, I called my friend Rachel to take me in yesterday. She couldn’t cure me but she nursed me. ---- I just finished saying “I love you” to Zach on Facebook chat. I didn’t want to let him go. How do I feel - I feel like I can’t breath, like a have a brick that is sitting on my chest, my hands are shaking and exhausted – just to move.

Keeping busy is what I know – and NO Dal, this doesn’t mean at home. I have so much work to do that I am not sure if I worked 18 hour days for the next 2 weeks I could keep up with everything I put on my “to do” list. I will try and work more because that will make my days go by. The sad thing is that I am not “smelling the roses”.

Okay, I know that I need to focus because there are many things to be grateful for. I know that there are people, close to me that have suffered more than I can imagine. I am grateful that I had 2 fantastic weeks with Zach and with a lot of the family. I know that he is strong, confident, and smart and is very capable of doing his job. I think that he is good at his job. I have many things to be grateful for. I am also grateful for my sister who is always sending boxes and helping me out and to my brother Jacob who always calls me and listens to me and offers support …. The list goes on.

Please remember our soldiers, don’t let them be a side story in the newspaper until they come home. Please pray for them.

I love you Zach

1 comment:

  1. I think I was finally getting to the point of living with my son at war, then today, and the horrible feelings are back. I know the weight you feel, as I feel the same, I am shaky as if I needed food, I dont.. Im sure my BP is through the roof.... Im so blessed for today but what about tomorrow and on and on... Im sick of this.. and I feel sooo very helpless. just helpless.