Thursday, December 24, 2009

Day 327

Mom – Day 327

Today was a great day because I had a chance to talk to Zach – I didn’t think I would!!!! Victoria Ashley, my daughter, stayed home and cleaned like a professional while I did my Christmas shopping. I actually went to the store and bought some of my traditional items like pate and cheeses. I bumped into a lot of people that I know and I was okay talking about Christmas and Zach. After some time shopping, the bit of a happy rush I had started to fade out. I realized that this Christmas, no matter what I do, or no matter what anyone else does, Zach will be somewhere I don’t know. I bought some Naan – knowing that Naan is now part of Zach’s diet; maybe I can feel a little closer to him. In reality I know that is not possible but my heart doesn’t know it and right now that is all that matters.

I received an email today from a lovely lady, Mary, whose son is in Afghanistan. Not only is he in Afghanistan but he is also part of the 173rd and stationed at FOB Shank. I don’t have the words to describe in letter my thoughts and feelings when she wrote me. It was so comforting to know – albeit via email and now Facebook – that someone else is going through what I am going through. I don’t feel like a stranger to my thoughts and feelings now, I know someone else may share them. Although, I am lucky to have a wonderful husband that I can depend on 24/7 – that is a blessing. In one of her emails she said that she was happy that I have my Christmas things up because she doesn’t, she couldn’t do it. My heart felt for her, tears ran down my face because I didn’t want her to feel that way – and yet I know exactly how she feels.

Merry Christmas Zach, I love you – Be Safe
xoxoxoxo

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